‘And along came a train’ by Matthew Hearn

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Your frustration knows no limits when there is an announcement made at a station because of some travel issues and not a word understood because of your deafness.

Fortune turned on its head, and I loved how missing the announcement was beneficial yesterday!

I was at a station and was dithering about how to make alternative travel route because the tube was massively delayed.

One staff went on to the platform and made an announcement. Almost everyone left the platform to the exits. Few, I presume, foreign people stayed behind to make enquires. I made myself the last person.

With the station completely deserted, I finally asked him what was happening and how to travel to another station.

“There are no trains at all for this station!” he bellowed.

…But a train came along.

Realisation hit his face – he had made a mistake! He ran to his tannoy point to retract his earlier news about there being no trains.

Smugly I stepped on the train knowing everyone else must be all red and cursing about there being no trains!

Oh the bittersweet irony, I could almost taste it!

By Matthew Hearn.

 

Neighbours, Everybody Needs Good Neighbours

Neighbours

Our elderly neighbour, Hilda, seemed exasperated with her mobile phone and she exclaimed, “My phone keeps on ringing all the time, I don’t know why!”

Me being deaf, I couldn’t hear if it was ringing or not said, “It might be a cold caller so register your number on the TPS site and by 28 days the calls should stop.” “Oh yes I’ll do that!” Hilda agreed.

Our other neighbour, Inga, joined us out of concern for Hilda who immediately pointed to her mobile phone inside her bag, “Can you hear it? It keeps on ringing… There it goes again!”

Inga seemed bewildered as we were given her phone. Her phone wasn’t ringing as it was off? We turned it on… Hilda then started giggling, realising it was actually her new hearing aid that was making the ringing sound.

She laughed so heartily effective, that we couldn’t help but laugh with her.

Bless her cottons!

Hilda’s hat had been placed over her hearing aids, setting them off. It set her off and relatively, us!

Neighbours, everybody needs good neighbours

With a little understanding, you can find the perfect blend

Neighbours, should be there for one another

That’s when good neighbours become good friends….

~ SJ (Sara Jae)

Why Did The Chicken Cross The Road?

Once upon a time a chicken crossed the road, why it crossed the road no one really knows. Or was It…..

To wish you a happy birthday of course!

To wish you a happy birthday of course!

Because there was a cyclist coming down his side & he didn’t want his mobile to get stolen!

To prove he wasn’t too much of a chicken to cross!

To get to the other side

“BECAUSE YOU DIDN’T COOK IT!!!!” – Gordon Ramsey

To see his flat mate!

To get away from the cockerel

What chicken? Which road? How why? When did? Where is the cross? I need answers…!

Crossy Road.

Crossy Road, the game.

Coz de chick wanna be big star of crossy road game show…?!

To get the highest score!

To be difficult and make us question why he crossed the road in first place!

Just whisper NANDO in her ear and she will cross the road. Whether she makes it to the other side or ends up on a Nando’s plate … is open to fate…

The chicken crossed the road to get to the other side to see if there was an egg!

More to the point, which came first? The chicken or the egg?!

The egg came first actually! The chicken carried it over the line in front of him on a spoon.

Why did the egg come first? A chicken had to lay it

If you believe the creation story, God made birds, animals etc. It does not say he made eggs so chicken definitely first. (Plus I also agree with Sara’s theory!)

I’m trying to picture how a non existent chicken is capable of laying an egg….!!

How did humans come about?? From an egg inside a human… The first human had to be created? That is why the chicken crossed the road – he was created to!

To find a soft place to lay an egg!

And because the grass is greener on the other side!

No, he found it WASN’T greener on the other side…

So he came back in a huff!

And forgot to bring the egg!

But then the chicken was indecisive so kept going back and forwards!

And that’s how evolution occurred…. An egg left on the other side evolved into another species

Of which the egg came first!

Oh My Cod!

Who're you gonna call??

Who you’re gonna call??

I went for one of my usual long walks along the River Thames one day, spotted this van and relatively posted this photo on Facebook, the puns that ensued was inevitable;

If you feel like a fish out of water, then the fish medic is the thing for you.

If you cannot afford an ambulance, just call Fish Medic – that’s economy!

It’s actually a clambulance!

I’d like a wormy, fungus infected, flea bitten salmon to jump right in there…

Plenty more fish in the sea.

How do they call for their own medic?

Via the Net.

You can Twitter a VAN? What does it say? “My oil is killing me?”

I was mullet whether it was a load of pollacks. I’ll stop carp-ing about and go back to my plaice.

No need to carp…. Admit it, you’re having a whale of a time by the Thames!

Don’t walk too far along the river or you’ll pull a mussel

it’s fintastic that they have their own doc.

For when you’re feeling green around the gills!!! 

Poor old sole.

I’m Whaling with laughter.

Oh for cod’s sake.

Something fishy is going on here.

Without the photo evidence, I would have found the whole thing a bit… fishy!

Carp diem 🙂

~ SJ (Sara Jae)

What’s Afoot?

SJ mischievously posed this question to the Tree House dwellers to gauge what kind of reaction it would receive and in true Tree House spirit, the wit and banter came alive once more.

What’s afoot?

 Afoot is for finding Lego in the dark.

It’s on the end of aleg.

 Nothing much.

The game’s afoot:

Follow your spirit, and upon this charge

Cry ‘God for Harry, England, and Saint George!’

– Henry V, Shakespeare.

It’s somewhere South of Aknee.

About 12 inches in old money.

Get ahead! Be a lert!

Come, Watson, the game is afoot…!

No s**t Sherlock!

Big changes! Positivity rules x

Afoot.

More than afoot. Afoot with love handles. Dedicated to Paul, our admin – get well soon mate! 😛

~ SJ (Sara Jae)

Our Top Fifteen Pet Hates.

Quite a few people detest hearing the chalk scrape on the blackboard, my son really dislikes the sound polystyrene makes and just how it feels to the touch. Here, during a supposedly full moon which explains why some of the Tree House dwellers were stirring, listed are some of our pet hates.

1, First and foremost: Tinnitus – this is extremely draining and in some cases debilitating.

2, Negative body language – Keep your chins up luv.

3, People relentlessly tapping on our arms or shoulders – Surely once is enough?!

Do's and Don'ts by Matt Daigle

Do’s and Don’ts by Matt Daigle

4, Regional signs such as “middle fingers stirring the sky” which could mean “available” or “holiday” to others. Some deaf people think this is only deemed rude by the hearing while some deaf people also find this sign offending – Each to their own.

6, The sound of “Applause” apparently tends to drive some deaf people nuts. *Hands waving*

6, Static shocks – There are those who are full of static shocks but take pleasure in shocking others (!)

Comic Strip by Jim Davis

Comic Strip – Garfield.

7, Visual noises i.e. Feet twitching in the corner of our eyes whilst trying to watch a film or read something.

8, People adamantly tapping on the table which is ultra-loud to a deaf person due to our other senses being enhanced.

9, We might not be able to hear them but we can still smell them – Trumping and in some cases flapping!

10, The wind noise from within our cars due to the rear car window being open whilst driving as the wind vibrates on our hearing aid microphones.

Who seconds wind noises?

I was once travelling back down south by coach with the kids and in the distant we spied a wind farm. My daughter seemed puzzled and asked me what they were, I explained it was a wind farm. She then asked why there was one? To which I answered most innocently “because too many people keep eating beans.” A moment later the penny dropped. The most priceless grin – ever!

Wind Recycling.

Wind Recycling.

11, The feeling of catching our fingernails, the vibrations via the blackboard or garage doors only for the paint flake off and get wedged inside our nails.

12, Not being able to cut our nails when we have broken it – which is why I now carry a nail clipper on my set of keys. Light-bulb moment.

13, The touch of the newspaper or magazine due to its texture is enough to make some deaf people break out into goose pimples and make their hands shake!

14, Wooden ice lolly and ice cream sticks. The texture and how we have to be careful not to bite on it or scrape it against our teeth to avoid the feeling, the noise it makes, the taste and the risk of splinters. The worst has to be the ones the doctors uses to look down our throats which terribly dries out our mouths.

Wooden sticks.

Wooden sticks

15, Sudden police sirens which our hearing aids amplify – Try living in Central London?!

~ SJ (Sara Jae)

Never Look Down on Someone Unless You Are Helping Them Up.

The moment I read Teresa Garraty’s article on Limping Chicken “Is it time for deaf people to be a little less angry?” I knowingly smiled. I felt she made her point which in my eyes, from my own more than fair share of experience, was justified.

Her article very bravely made light of the facts around us because: “it is relatively true and reminds people not to take things so seriously. Not to be so immersed and concentrated. Not to be fighting all the time. It is not directed at people who campaign tirelessly but at the attitude within societies that give off those vibes of us not being a welcoming and positive community which is in turn misleading them?” As I gave my response on the back of it amongst other rather emotive feedback and watched some bitterness simmering which once again only confirmed Teresa’s whole point?

I concluded, “I just think if we come across as “angry” we won’t be heard but seen as just that. I can see her points from being on other teams and since I left those I can see those attributes which I have shrugged off as I do not want to be seen as demanding or “angry” but as welcoming and positive. Which would make inroads more? Being welcoming or being “angry” which is how hearing society is perceiving us? Hence why I said it’s misleading them because we aren’t angry. Some only appear angry. Most do react as though they are angry.’”

“When anger rises, think of the consequences.” – Confucius

With actions comes consequences: relatively soon after her initial supposedly “controversial” article, Teresa followed up with what she meant by her angry deaf people article to explain in depth, apologising to those she did not intend to cause any offence to, which I thought was admirable of her because members of the public chose to take offence? I was very concerned to learn that she was bullied as a result of her tongue in cheek article. This was sadly inevitable knowing how society behaves, yet it could have been avoided if people within the deaf community had their sense of humour about them. But perhaps their true colours were exposed instead? Who knows. I personally think Teresa should have been warned of potential back-lash from the more experienced writers and contributors but there is only so much people can help others with. Out of a negative, comes a positive. Teresa, in my eyes, is now wiser and more experienced regarding people’s ways.

Nowadays when someone reacts angrily, I am instantly reminded of Teresa’s article and once again smile. I know for a fact a friend of mine is on guard with the article ready to present before the offending party. That is who he is but for me, I so just know it is going to wind them up even more. ‘Tis best to let things be. Why? Because we can. There is no point in dwelling over an iota of bitterness because that iota is only going to grow into an ounce, which in time will weigh tons; becoming overbearing and diseasing your mind along with your soul. Paranoia will also creep in which one will eventually pass onto those around them. Deal with it.

“There are two things a person should never be angry at, what they can help and what they cannot.” – Plato

Lone campaigners have the passion and desire to see change out of frustration, due to the pace or finances others impose. This is highly admirable because it is a voluntary action which means sacrificing valuable personal time and sweat for a cause they believe in – I pay respect to each and every one who find it in themselves to be subjected to intense passion and genuine interest from the bottom of their hearts. It frustrates me still, to see “friends” patting each other’s backs behind the scenes. It is happening everywhere, the most blindingly obvious has to be the government who more or less went to school with one another.

We have seen several hardened and angry members enter the Tree House who over time have mellowed wonderfully and stayed on, with their sense of humour, trying to resist the urge to come out and joke along. Naturally there will always be one or two who lose their footing along the way but since people know how it feels to be bullied, isolated, singled out, put down and how it hurts to be kicked whilst down after so long, it has automatically become second nature to us to help them up on their way again. It is what you, the people are making it.

It is always healthy to exercise our free speech as nature intended, within reason and respect, in order to teach others. In the past I have been dictated to, to not say this, to not post that, to delete this, to remove that especially when what I said or had done in the first place was justified. How else will people learn, reflect upon, see things and others for what/who they truly are? There is always a balance and only a wise, experienced person will know when to control themselves.

“Never look down on someone unless you are helping them up”

– is another favourite quote of mine.

~ SJ (Sara Jae)